jackrad:

waiting4beckett:

Always weed horcruxes.

gawd, i hate it when ppl try to return horcruxes to the library, it’s really a hassel to have to run around tracking down magical objects to destroy them with and i would feel really irresponsible just sending them to the friends of the library, undestroyed, for the book sale.

(Source: englishproblems)

Before I begin my Defense of Draco, I’d like to make clear that we’re talking about post-Hallows Draco here. Because we’re not perverts. And because, frankly, nobody at Hogwarts made good boyfriend material during the war.

— 

Eleanor & Park buzz author Rainbow Rowell in a hilarious guest post on fictional boyfriends over at Cloud librarian Ryann Ulden’s blog, The Land of Lost Books. (via cloudunbound)

I love this.

schoollibraryjournal:

“I wanted to pay tribute to the series itself and to classic literature. I wanted to take those two things and fuse them together. In a way, the first Harry Potter cover should feel like Dickens.” -Kazu Kibuishi, A New Look for Harry Potter

What do you think?

Ahahahahahaha

katherine replied to your post: Heads Up

You failed to work in my two favorite HP giggle-inducers — “chamber of secrets” and “death stick.” (But hilarious nonetheless!)

What a missed opportunity! I humbly apologize.

(Source: reviews.libraryjournal.com)

So she let him embrace and then kiss her. She closed her eyes, climbed on top of him, and imagined herself riding Jake on a deserted white beach, nineteen years old to his twenty-one. She came while imagining Miles watching them, furiously, through binoculars, from a distant pedalo.

— 

Last but CERTAINLY NOT least, from The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

Okay, this is my favorite quotation, more than even the spectacularly strange “Father Christmas” passage. Miles is this woman’s husband, the man she is actually having sex with in this passage. Jake is a handsome and much younger member of an unnamed boy band. I had to look up a pedalo and it is a paddle boat. A paddle boat.

He climbed on top of her; this, he knew, was real life.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

Just to clarify, not wizard life.

Humongous bouncing jubblies,” Fats said loudly, into the scowling, crumpled face. “Great big juicy double-F mams.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

Jubblies sounds like a kind of wizard candy. Mams does not.

He had not thought of Krystal herself (as opposed to her splendid breasts and that miraculously unguarded vagina).

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

Just to reiterate: “that miraculously unguarded vagina.”

I came in about ten seconds. It feels fucking great once you’re in.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

Ah, young love. (At least Rowling is realistic about a teenage boy’s prowess.)

He was an extravagantly obese man of sixty-four. A great apron of stomach fell so far down in front of his thighs that most people thought instantly of his penis when they first clapped eyes on him, wondering when he had last seen it, how he washed it, how it managed to perform any of the acts for which a penis is designed.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

Ew.

He retained a vivid memory of her bare pink vulva; it was a though Father Christmas had popped up in their midst.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

I won’t say that Christmas is ruined, but…Christmas has been altered.

Andrew returned to his contemplation of the dirty window with an ache in his heart and in his balls.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

What is worse? Heart ache or ball ache? This question is one for the poets.

After ringing the doorbell, Kay noticed a used condom glistening in the grass beside her feet, like the gossamer cocoon of some huge grub.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

This is clearly not Hagrid’s Care of Magical Creatures class.

Lost in a fug of erotic images, pulling on the joint, Andrew lay with his erection on the patch of earth his body was warming and listened to the soft rush of water a few feet from his head.

— 

From The Dursleys Talk Dirty: the Top 10 Most Memorable “Adult” Moments in The Casual Vacancy.

There are a lot of erections in this book and I’ve chosen this one, which is almost pastoral, to stand in (up?) for the rest. In many ways this moment is a distillation of the whole novel, which is a strange mixture of idyllic village life and random penises.